I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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