i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
