Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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