Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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