I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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