Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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