So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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