Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
