Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
