why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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