hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
