piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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