going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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