we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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