How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Terrible idea I love it
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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