Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize