I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
