I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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