i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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