It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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