ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
