I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize