you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
