This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
