the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
