ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
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do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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