please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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