whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
