You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Your cock deserves a montage
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
