Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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