we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm always down for nudity.
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