Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
