You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Did I show you my penis last night?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
