You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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