bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
