The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
