Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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