Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
