"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
