Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
