What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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