i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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