Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
