I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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