soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
