I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
