I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
