Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
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She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
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Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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