If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize