i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
