My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
