We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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