Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
