The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
