dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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