tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
