And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
