just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
