all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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