Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
